I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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