remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
