there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
