She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
