Yo dont text me then not text me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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