it was like his penis was on wheels.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
