Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize