They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize