i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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