all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
