the day after is always just damage control
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
