i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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