Don't make out with my wife yet
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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