batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
