omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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