I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
