no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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