2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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