i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
