My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
