I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
