Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
