Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
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