You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
