thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
