omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Is it penis luge time yet?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
