i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We talked him into tasing himself.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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