then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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