hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
