Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
