i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
