omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
