Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
