i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
