How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
