3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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