the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
