tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
