I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
