i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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