i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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