Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
