road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
