Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
