turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
