I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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