Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
