his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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