good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
