Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He has the fingertips of a God
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