Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i think i have two assholes
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
