My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
