honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
