Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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