no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize