i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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